Roasted 6 months ago based on William J's long term Spotify stats.

William J, huh? Your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack to an overly earnest college campus coffee shop where everyone’s sipping their third soy latte while discussing how they "really relate to the struggles of the medieval peasantry." With genres like “Christian Folk” and “Celtic,” I half-expect your playlists to feature a recording of a heartbeat and some Gregorian chants just to really drive home your vibe of “too pious to party.” Honestly, are you trying to create a musical equivalent of a Christian-themed board game night? If the Holy Trinity ever needed backing tracks, they’d hire you in a heartbeat. As for your top artists, it's like you’re trying to write an indie rock guidebook for people who are afraid to address their existential crises without the crutch of a harp. The Oh Hellos? More like the “Oh God, please stop” situation. You’ve managed to collect an impressive roster of artists whose combined popularity could still fit comfortably in a middle school gym, and yet you probably still think “Fish in a Birdcage” is a metaphor for a really deep philosophical discussion rather than just a weird name for a band. Hilariously, you’ve got a collection so obscure it just screams, “I’m actually trying to impress someone who will never hear this.” And those most played songs? I’m convinced you’ve mistaken playlist curation for a therapy session. "Letters from the Atlantic"? More like “Letters from your therapist” suggesting an intervention. By the time anyone gets through your top tracks, they’ll likely have aged a few years from the unending emotional weight. The only storm brewing here is the one generated by the sheer anxiety of having to listen to “Upside Down” on repeat as you spiral downward into your musical abyss. Don’t worry though, this playlist isn’t a reflection of you — it’s more like a cautionary tale about how not to live life or create music!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!