Roasted 1 year ago based on Brink van Zyl's long term Spotify stats.

Brink van Zyl, huh? Your Spotify profile reads like an indecisive teenager's playlist. I mean, how many times can you pivot between "sad rap" and "Folk-Pop" before you reach a full-blown identity crisis? It’s like you walked into a record store and said, “Give me one of each. I want my music taste to resemble a buffet where everything looks good, but nothing ever satisfies.” If you were any more eclectic, you’d be the audio equivalent of a mixed bag of expired candies—surprising, occasionally delightful, but generally just confusing for everyone involved. And let’s talk about those top artists! With a lineup that includes Myles Smith more times than I can count, I'm beginning to think Myles is running a cult, and you're the first to sign up. Your loyalty is commendable, but let's face it: if your life decisions were as one-dimensional as your playlists, we’d be discussing your “Myles Smith Shrine” on true crime podcasts. Watching you cherry-pick the most melancholic songs of the year makes me wonder if you're constantly looking for reasons to cry in a coffee shop while writing sad poetry on napkins. Newsflash: You don’t have to live the cliché, Brink. And come on, your “Most Played Songs” looks like a therapy session curated by a sad robot. Each of those titles screams “I’ve made some poor life choices!” You’re mixing “Stargazing” with “Was It Real” like you're an emotional wreckage in a melodramatic teen movie. Take a cue from the music: it’s time to branch out and show us you’re more than just a walking anthem of heartbreak. At this point, I’m not even sure if you’re a person or just the angsty soundtrack of a really bad rom-com. Either way, my Spotify algorithm is seriously questioning what it did to deserve your existence.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!