Roasted 1 year ago based on Dimitris's long term Spotify stats.

Dimitri, your Spotify profile is like the musical equivalent of a middle school art project—confusing and painfully self-indulgent. I mean, you’ve got more genres listed than actual personality traits. “Alternative Hip Hop,” “Shoegaze,” and “Bedroom Pop”? Are you curating a playlist or prepping for your next existential crisis? If listening to your favorite artists was a competitive sport, you'd be the world champion in overthinking what it means to wear skinny jeans and drink almond milk lattes. You claim to love King Krule and Tyler, The Creator, yet your top tracks reveal the real gems of your soul—Title Fight, again and again. What’s your plan, Dimitri? To petition Title Fight to change their name to “Dimitri's Life Soundtrack”? It’s almost impressive how you’ve managed to lead a musical life solely through the lens of one band. You must have a steamer trunk of “Alice Phoebe Lou” merch somewhere because the number of times you’ve played her songs is beginning to feel a little obsessive—like your therapist is definitely going to have something to say about that. But hey, at least you’re keeping cool jazz alive while you’re lost in your Father-Son sitcom. The mixed bag of Classic Rock and Slowcore feels less like a carefully crafted taste profile and more like the chaotic mess your dating life seems to be—filled with moody vibes, but ultimately just painfully slow to get anywhere. So here’s an idea: maybe try expanding that listening palette of yours past the confines of your bedroom. You never know, you might even discover that there’s life outside your headphones. Or at the very least, in another Spotify playlist!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!