Roasted 4 months ago based on Gab's long term Spotify stats.

Gab, your favorite genres read like the musical equivalent of a middle school art project – a chaotic blend of glitter, weird noises, and the occasional existential crisis. Vaporwave and City Pop? Great! Now all you need are some neon leg warmers and a time machine to take you straight back to when humanity was still infatuated with dial-up internet. You could curate the ultimate soundtrack for an 80s aerobics class that nobody asked for. Seriously, if sad robots and synths had a baby, it would be your profile, complete with an awkward smile and an Instagram filter. Top artists like Sui Uzi and Macross 82-99 sound less like musicians and more like characters from a bad anime series you can't stop binge-watching. I mean, The Smiths? For every one song about heartbreak, it looks like you’ve created a playlist that screams, “I’m going through a mid-20s crisis, but I promise I’m still fun!” And with "Dragon Ball" on your top artist list, I can’t tell if you’re trying to show off your edgy music taste or just looking for a soundscape to lament over your life choices while Goku saves the day. Your most played songs are a masterpiece of confusion, Gab. “Hoeing Mood” followed by “GIRL HELL 1999”? Sounds like you’re preparing for either the world’s most chaotic rave or a therapy session gone wrong. At this point, your music taste is less “Spotify” and more “What’s the worst thing that could happen if I play this at a party?” You’ve cracked the code for eliciting confusion and concern in equal measure, proving that you’re not just here for the vibes; you’re here for the total meltdown. Keep it up, and you might just redefine what it means to binge-listen!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!