Roasted 7 months ago based on Mikey 🎧's long term Spotify stats.

Mikey, your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack to a failed therapy session wrapped in a homemade flannel blanket. The fact that you have more “Emo” tags than a LiveJournal from 2003 is alarmingly accurate; you’ve truly captured the essence of an “I’m not like other girls” vibe but for emo boys. I mean, who knew “Cloud Rap” was a thing? Even the clouds must be rolling their eyes at the emotional weather you're producing. If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone sobbing over Midwest Emo, I could buy you a ticket to a real concert instead of whatever basement shows you’ve been frequenting. And let’s talk about those top songs. Wow, "$uicideboy$"? Really? You must be the life of the party, Mikey. What’s next—hosting gatherings where everyone sits in a circle and discusses their deepest fears while “Whole Lotta Grey” plays on loop? It’s like you looked at your life, saw a sad Instagram filter, and decided it should be your entire music catalog. If “What the Fuck is Happening” isn’t your personal anthem, I don’t know what is, but it probably involves you looking lost in a youth group meeting or something equally tragic. Finally, your artist list is a masterpiece of confusion. You’ve curated a playlist that sounds like the soundtrack to an existential crisis, but honestly, even your Spotify can’t take you seriously with “Piss” by TRSH nestled in there. Your music taste screams, “Please call my mom. I’m not okay!” What’s next? Moping over a bowl of oatmeal while listening to “Memoirs of a Gorilla”? You might as well slap a “Sadboi™” sticker on your forehead and call it a day. You’re the human equivalent of a sad face emoji, and honestly, I’m here for the emotional roller coaster. Just don’t forget to get off and see the sun every once in a while.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!