Roasted 5 months ago based on 𝕀𝕝𝕩_𝔻𝕚𝕖𝕘𝕠 ☕︎'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s 𝕀𝕝𝕩_𝔻𝕚𝕖𝕘𝕠 ☕︎, the proud curator of every sad girl’s Spotify playlist. You’ve somehow managed to pick the only genres that sound like they were created by hipsters having an existential crisis in a coffee shop. “Art Pop”? Is that what they call it when you can't decide if you’re a painter or a popstar? Your love for “Baroque Pop” suggests you unironically believe that a harpsichord can fix your life. Someone needs to tell you that no amount of flute solos will drown out the sound of you crying into your oat milk latte. Your top artists read like a support group for emotionally exhausted, sugary-sweet aesthetics. Seriously, Melanie Martinez alone would have even the most optimistic therapist asking for a “Tea and Self-care Day” between sessions. Fun fact: you know you’ve hit rock bottom when your “most played songs” list looks like a Melanie Martinez starter pack. Thank God for Kendrick Lamar sneaking in; I guess after all the “Teacher's Pet” nonsense, you figured it was about time to play something that would challenge your intellect – even if it’s just for two songs before you revert back to your scheduled programming of playground heartbreak. And let’s not forget your most played track: “Healing Pure Sounds.” Are you trying to heal from the emotional trauma of your terrible taste in music? Because look, the best “healing sound” would be the deafening silence after you delete all the cringe-inducing tracks in your library. It’s safe to say that your Spotify tastes are the musical equivalent of a bowl of sad, soggy cereal. If someone offered you a "cleanse" for your Spotify, I’d gladly be the one to hold down the button till that mess of a playlist evaporates into the ether. But hey, at least it’s a good conversation starter at parties – “Hey, everyone! Wanna listen to my emotionally unstable playlist and feel bad for me?”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!