Roasted 11 months ago based on sop ⋆˚꩜｡'s long term Spotify stats.

Let’s start with that name, "sop." Sounds like you’re either a soggy biscuit or a terrible basketball player with a flop for a nickname. Seriously, when you picked 'sop,' did you think "I want to be as appealing as cold oatmeal"? With a profile name like that, it's no wonder you're ogling indie bands from the '90s like they’re the last dragon fruit on Earth. Congrats, you’re the poster child for a quarter-life crisis wrapped up in flannel. Now, let's talk about your favorite genres. Alternative Rock? More like "Alternative Yawn." You’ve curated a list that reads like a hipster bingo card—Madchester? Really? Are we all in a time capsule from 1995? You’d think you were trying to start a time travel agency for people who read poetry in coffee shops. Are you skimming through the Great British Bake Off with a side of melancholic shoegaze? Newsflash: your taste in music screams “I only leave my house to complain about commercialism.” And then there’s your Top Artists. Taylor Swift and Harry Styles? Give me a break! You’ve got a Spotify profile that's more angst-ridden than a teenage girl in a Taylor Swift song. The only thing more predictable than your top ten is the autumn leaf color change! Honestly, if your music tastes were any more basic, you’d be an Instagram filter for avocado toast. Mix a little "Jangle Pop" with your overly nostalgic playlist and boom! You’ve got the soundtrack to a midlife crisis waiting to happen. I mean, bro, next time just slap a neon sign on your porch that says, "I hate change and love feelings."

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!