Roasted 8 months ago based on Ethan Foss's long term Spotify stats.

Ethan Foss, huh? Your Spotify profile reads like someone emptying their wallet at a thrift store and trying to convince everyone that it’s “vintage chic.” What’s with your top genres? It’s like you threw a party with your musical tastes, and the invitees came dressed in full “dad at a barbecue” attire. Pop and Soft Rock? I’m surprised you didn’t add “smooth saxophone” to your list—maybe you’re saving that for the ultimate cringe. Your top artists are a true testament to your identity crisis. One minute, you're jamming to Taylor Swift’s heartbreak anthems, and the next, you’ve got CupcakKe teaching you about the finer points of... let’s say, adult conversations. And what’s with the inclusion of “Southern Gothic”? Are you trying to evoke the spirits of confederate ghosts while vibing to yacht rock? I’m not even sure what that is; do you need a life jacket to navigate through those waters? As for your most played songs—“Bound 2” and “Vodka Cranberry”? Wow, what a combo! It’s like you’re mixing drinks and emotions: one part yearning, two parts regret, and a splash of confusion. You’ve got more variety than a back-alley record store three weeks before they close for good. Here’s a thought: next time you’re curating your “sophisticated” playlist, maybe check in with a therapist before diving into “Little Red Riding Good.” Your Spotify could benefit from a little less indecisiveness and a little more cold, hard self-awareness!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!