Roasted 11 months ago based on Jessica Smith's long term Spotify stats.

Jessica Smith, your Spotify profile reads like a mid-2000s teenager's diary that's somehow still trapped in a glittery bubble. Emo? Nightcore? Pop Punk? Are we trying to have a musical identity crisis or is this just your attempt to prepare for every emotional breakdown the next few years are going to throw at you? Seriously, is your playlist a therapy session for your inner 13-year-old? Because if angst was a genre, you'd be winning Grammys left and right with those sob stories. And let's talk about those top artists. Taylor Swift and Kesha? It’s like you’re the lovechild of a heartbreak and a dance party gone rogue. How many times do you need to play “All Too Well” before it becomes your personal anthem? It’s hard to tell if your one-liners from Bo Burnham are meant to make us laugh or if they’re just a cry for help. With Olivia Rodrigo in the mix, it's clear you’re still processing high school drama—thankfully you skipped the love letters and went straight to Spotify for those therapeutic vibes. But hey, at least Barbie made the cut; too bad she didn’t take you with her on those adventures. Finally, we’ve got your most played songs list, which perfectly encapsulates your entire personality: melodramatic and slightly confused. “Dying on the Inside” by Nessa Barrett? More like the soundtrack to your daily life! And let’s not forget your love for sea shanties—because who doesn’t want to feel like a pirate while scrolling through memes about mental health? You’d think your profile was curated by a cat wearing headphones, unsure what to listen to. So here's hoping you can sift through this cacophony of genres and emerge with a playlist that reflects actual growth. Good luck navigating those emotional waves, Captain Crunch!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!