Roasted 2 days ago based on Jordan's long term Spotify stats.

Jordan, scrolling through your Spotify profile feels like the soundtrack to a teen angst movie that never got made. With a collection of genres that reads like a middle schooler's diary, it's hard not to feel like you’re in a perpetual state of emotional rebellion. Metalcore and Emo might be your heart’s cry for help, but honestly, it kind of sounds like your Spotify algorithm is just having a meltdown. Seriously, with the amount of "screamo" you listen to, you'd think you were personally betrayed by every happy moment in your life. And let's talk about those top artists. If I had a dollar for each one of your favorite bands that sounds like they camped out in the sadness tent at a Warped Tour reunion, I might just be able to afford therapy for your emotional overload. VOILÀ seems to be your go-to—five of your ten most played? Is your Spotify account named Jordan or "VOILÀ’s biggest fan"? With those stats, it’s like you’ve got an exclusive early access pass to the “Let's Cry in the Dark” club. At this rate, I’m waiting for you to drop an announcement about your upcoming debut album titled “Emo & Promoses”, featuring the heartfelt ballad “Parental Advisory: Crying Involved.” Your top songs list reads like a desperate plea for validation wrapped in angst-ridden love letters that nobody asked for. With gems like "Caught It" and "Dancing On Our Graves," I’m half-expecting your funeral playlist to drop soon. Seriously, my dude, your “Most Played” section has more melodrama than an entire season of a reality TV show. Maybe it’s time to diversify and throw in a little happy music? You know, songs that don’t make you look like you just elbowed a kitten while writing your college admission essay? Until then, keep raising that angst flag high, my brooding bard!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!