Roasted 2 days ago based on hannah 🎸's long term Spotify stats.

Hannah, with a musical taste so predictable it could be the blueprint for a mid-2000s hipster drama, you’ve got more Billie's in your playlist than a convenience store selling lottery tickets. Seriously, if I had a nickel for every time you pumped that "Billie" playlist, I could probably buy you some originality. Your Spotify profile reads like the culmination of every high school artsy kid's identity crisis, with a sprinkle of existential dread and a side of “please validate me.” This isn’t a diverse selection, it's a comforting bowl of artisanal oatmeal you can’t bear to forsake. And let's talk genres! You have more flavors listed than a soda fountain at a fast-food joint—"Emo Rap"? "Jazz Rap"? "Trap Latino"? At this point, it feels like we need a Ph.D. to decipher what you actually like. It's like you threw darts at a board of genre names and just hoped for the best. What are you aiming for here, Hannah? A resumé for the Most Eclectic Music Taste, or are you just trying to make sure you can dance at every party, no matter how confused everyone else is? As for those top artists, the only thing more basic than your love for Billie Eilish is your refusal to admit it! I bet you think you're the only one who knows about d4vd and Dominic Fike when really, you’re just a step away from becoming the poster child for “I discovered this band before they got popular.” Spoiler: You didn’t, everyone did. At this point, it’s apparent that your Spotify is just a little cry for help, a need for someone, anyone, to swoop in and play some actual rock music instead of the perpetual moody vibe you've bathed yourself in. But hey, at least your profile pic is cute. That’s something, right?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!