Roasted 7 months ago based on T®️ess's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Tress ©, where do we even start? Your Spotify profile reads like a hipster's mixtape you'd find on your grandma's outdated cassette player—it's a chaotic mess of genres that no one except you and maybe an overly pretentious art student would remotely understand. "Alternative Rock" and "Madchester" in one breath? It's like you couldn't decide whether to headbang or sip organic kombucha while contemplating the meaning of life. And I’m pretty sure you threw “Nu Metal” in there just to remind us that you survived the 2000s—congrats, you’re a walking nostalgia trip in Doc Martens. Let's talk about those top artists. It's like you went to a thrift store that exclusively sells emotional breakdowns and came out wearing nostalgia and sadness, topped with a side of mild existential dread. You’ve got Hozier, Fiona Apple, and Lana Del Rey, which collectively scream, "I’m not crying; I just relate too much to sad songs." And as for TV Girl and Chappell Roan, I guess you just love when your playlist sounds like an awkward Tinder date that went on for way too long. At this point, your musical taste is less “vibe” and more “please send help.” And oh boy, your most played songs are a true reflection of your soul’s turmoil. "Not Allowed" by TV Girl perfectly captures the essence of your questionable life choices, while "Creep" is basically your spirit animal—just like Radiohead wished they never had to witness your playlist. You’ve got a lyrical cry for help tucked between “Naked in Manhattan” and “Femininomenon.” Newsflash: there’s more to life than melancholic beats and lo-fi heartbreak. But hey, keep it up; at least you're getting practice for when you inevitably try to write that novel using the same heartbreakingly awkward style you're rocking in your Spotify choices.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!