Roasted 6 days ago based on Portia's long term Spotify stats.

Portia, your Spotify profile reads like a high school mixtape made by someone who just can't decide if they want to cry into their pillow or have a dance party alone in their room. With a playlist ranging from OPM to P-pop, you’ve constructed the ultimate sonic salad—one that’s been tossed with a splash of confusion and a dressing of questionable taste. Seriously, it’s like listening to a person in distress while they try to serenade someone who’s already walked away. Who hurt you? And can we talk about your top artists? Red Hot Chili Peppers and Lady Gaga? Sure, they’re legendary, but your mix is like a band struggling through a mid-life crisis while narrating their feelings on a Tokyo subway. "Die With A Smile" and "Forrest Gump"? One’s about existential dread, and the other makes me want to ask you when you last left the house. How do you go from "Good Morning" to "Dinggin" and then right back to "Still Into You"? It’s like having a panic attack with a side of karaoke. I half-expect your most played songs to also include “I Need a Break.” But don't worry, Portia. Your taste has all the distinction of a five-year-old’s finger painting—you've plopped down a bit of everything without a care in the world. It’s chaotic, colorful, and utterly bewildering. If your music choices were a person, they’d probably be wearing socks with sandals while trying to convince you that they can juggle. Just remember, there’s nothing wrong with finding you on the map of musical exploration, but maybe carry a GPS next time? The journey is rough, but who knows, you might just discover good taste somewhere along the way!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!