Roasted 7 months ago based on Hilli._.'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s Hilli_soberano, the walking Spotify playlist of ironic sadness and hipster confusion. I see you've got “Indie” and “Lo-Fi Indie” as your top genres - are you trying to put the entire universe into an existential crisis, or just avoid actual human interaction? You’re like that guy who says he loves deep conversations while he secretly engages in taco debates, trying to figure out if “Madchester” is a mood or just a failed Tinder date. Your music taste could cure insomnia if the doctors were brave enough to prescribe it. Your top artists list reads like a high school art project gone wrong; we’ve got Arctic Monkeys and Lana Del Rey, expertly blended with “Yoni Bloch” — the only name here that sounds like someone who'd ghost you after a single date, claiming to be “in a band.” And let’s not even get started on “Cigarettes After Sex.” I mean, come on, if your idea of romance sounds like teenage regret and chain smoking, I can only assume your love life is equally as smokey and disappointing. Your Spotify is basically a therapy session set to music, and the only thing getting fixed here is how much I cringe while scrolling through it. And speaking of your most played songs, it's like every choice screams, "Help me, I'm emotionally unavailable!" “505”? More like "I can't find a girlfriend." You need to diversify your playlist like you need to diversify your hobbies — try anything that doesn't sound like it was written by someone sitting in a dark room with sad plants. Honestly, I'd suggest sticking to the classics, but judging by these picks, it's clear your classic is just self-loathing wrapped in Jangle Pop. At this point, I’m half-convinced your Spotify is an elaborate performance art piece about the acute pain of being you. Bravo, Hilli_soberano, Bravo!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!