Roasted 2 months ago based on Nolyn's long term Spotify stats.

Nolyn, your Spotify profile is like a mixtape you’d make for your grandma—confusingly curated and a little cringe. “Christian Hip Hop” and “Santa’s Playlist” in the same favorite genres? I’d say you have the range, but I'm pretty sure your musical taste is a shield against actually enjoying life. You might as well be playing “What if Disney produced a sermon?” on repeat. Do you get a kick out of feeling holier-than-thou while secretly jamming to soft pop like you’re a teenage girl making a TikTok about self-discovery? And let’s get to your top artists. Anyone who has “Michael Bublé” and “Five Finger Death Punch” on their list is like a walking identity crisis. It’s like you can’t decide if you want to have a cozy Christmas dinner or get kicked out of a mosh pit. And who’s fooling who with “Chinese Hip Hop”? Did you hear one track, giggle, and think, "Yup! I’m diverse now"? Newsflash: it takes more than a couple of Dragon Ball Z soundtracks to convince the world you’ve got eclectic taste. Your abysmal need for soul-searching through Spotify is only rivaled by your playlist’s undeniable ability to put anyone within earshot into a deep slumber. With most played tracks that could serve as the soundtrack for an existential crisis, it’s clear you’re addicted to that feeling of “almost” enjoying music. It’s like your list is an audio representation of peeking into the fridge for snacks and only finding expired condiments. Ever thought of diversifying, Nolyn? Explore some real bangers instead of finding solace in “I Was Sad Last Night I'm OK Now”—because if that’s your go-to jam, it sounds like you need a therapist, not just a new playlist. Maybe it's time to swap one of those Christmas classics for an actual fun song, lest you be haunted by the ghost of playlists past.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!