Roasted 2 years ago based on michaela 🐞's long term Spotify stats.

Michaela, looking at your Spotify profile is like stepping into a time capsule from a hipster coffee shop that somehow still sells ironic T-shirts. Your favorite genres read like a neglected art major's final project. “POV: Indie” really takes the cake—what’s next, “POV: Clout Chaser”? With all that “Indie Pop” and “Permanent Wave,” I wouldn’t be surprised if your life’s soundtrack played while you Googled “how to make vinyl records.” Speaking of artists, they say variety is the spice of life, but you’re clearly allergic to it. “They Might Be Giants” takes up more real estate on your top artist list than an overpriced New York apartment. Are you secretly auditioning for a very niche documentary that chronicles your one-woman quest to resurrect the band's fanbase? And Hans Zimmer? Please, even he’s shaking his head at the thought of falling into your playlist’s black hole of relentless repetition. Get a grip, Michaela—there’s a world of music out there beyond your endless loop! Finally, let’s chat about your most played songs, which read like a cringe compilation of someone who learned how to vibe check from a toddler. Five tracks from the same band? At this point, you might as well marry “They Might Be Giants.” And “Cornfield Chase”? Oh darling, what are you chasing at this point—your dreams or a top spot in the “sad, quirky girl” playlist? If you don’t expand your horizons soon, I fear your Spotify Wrapped will just come with a warning label: “Caution: Signs of Monotony Ahead.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!