Roasted 8 months ago based on Watermelon67's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Watermelon67, my favorite fruit-themed Spotify profile! You’ve combined more genres than an indecisive hipster with a short attention span at the record store. "Indonesian Indie," "Indorock," and "Garage Rock"? It looks like your taste in music is just the soundtrack to a midlife crisis that someone is having after asking, "Wait, what year is it again?" You dabble in more niche genres than a rabid fan at an underground festival, and I didn’t know ‘Indonesian Pop’ was code for “I have strong opinions about things I’ve never experienced.” And your top artists list is a wild ride! You’ve got the ethereal genius of Radiohead next to the manufactured beats of One Direction — it’s like mixing artisanal cheese with a government cheese slice and calling it a gourmet meal. I mean, I get it; your playlists are like a fever dream where Coldplay’s brooding anthems collide with the bubbly positivity of Maroon 5. It’s a miracle your playlists don’t implode from the sheer internal conflict between “deep” and “totally shallow.” Lastly, I'm just amazed at how you're simultaneously the emo kid wearing an Arctic Monkeys shirt and the softie who can’t resist a good heartbreak anthem from "Cigarettes After Sex." Your most-played songs could serve as a soundtrack to a cringe rom-com where the main character can't choose between being a tortured artist and an Instagram influencer. So here’s to Watermelon67: the only person I know who listens to garage rock while wearing an artisanal avocado toast apron! Keep reaching for that eclectic, identity-confused crown, my fruity friend!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!