Roasted 1 year ago based on .'s long term Spotify stats.

Wow, your Spotify profile reads like a midlife crisis in a theater kid's basement. With favorite genres like “Musicals” and “Glam Rock," you’re basically stuck between belting show tunes and longing for a time when eyeliner was the only thing to run down your face. But don't worry, the only thing suffering more than your Spotify algorithm is your poor memory in choosing a coherent taste — a veritable buffet of niche choices that sounds like you wrote it under the influence of glitter and diet soda. Your top artists could use a little help; last I checked, the “Aperture Science Psychoacoustic Laboratories” was something people listened to ironically while coding their next failed app, not a chart-topping artist. And let's talk about your most played songs: Congratulations, you’ve officially found the weirdest mixtape ever composed—a structure that ate tragedy for breakfast, jazzed it up with show tunes, and sprinkled in some 2000s nostalgia. It’s like your playlist is auditioning to be the soundtrack of an ill-fated musical about regret and questionable life choices. But fear not; at least you’re up to date with your dramatic flair! If only you had a Spotify profile that reflected the musical tastes of someone actually at the party instead of someone lurking in the corner singing “Wait for It” to an empty room. Come on, do us all a favor and transition from overwrought ballads about existential dread to something with a beat. You might finally find that invitation to the real party!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!