Roasted 4 months ago based on dan's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Dan, your Spotify profile looks like a middle school mixtape exploded in a record store — ironic, chaotic, and desperately trying to be edgy. K-Pop and emo in the same breath? It’s like you got dumped by a cute boy band and decided to drown your sorrows with some existential screams. Your genre choices read like a high schooler's playlist after discovering paternal disappointment and TikTok trends. And those top artists? If “Monte Carlo” isn’t a euphemism for your non-existent social life, I don’t know what is. Listening to them three times more than everyone else is the kind of dedication that suggests either deep affection or a severe lack of options. I mean, even your playlist screams “I’m just here for the vibes, please keep your music suggestions to yourself!” Is this your attempt at being eclectic or just a cry for help in the form of questionable auditory choices? Let’s not even start on the “most played songs” – if those titles were any more obscure, they’d need a guidebook to navigate. “La tengo chiquita”? Wow, how comfortably awkward. And “Perreo Políglota”? Clearly, your taste in music is as diverse as your dating life. But hey, at least if anyone asks about your taste, you can tell them you’re fluent in both heartbreak and confusion. Keep rocking that painfully relatable vibe, Dan — it's almost like you're trying to win an award for "Most Likely to Overthink a Spotify Bio."

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!