Roasted 7 months ago based on Christian Thompson's long term Spotify stats.

Christian Thompson, huh? It’s nice to see that your personality is as unique as the 953 sub-genres of hip-hop you’ve managed to squeeze into your Spotify profile. I didn’t realize “hyperpop” and “glitch” were just creative ways to describe the sound of a car alarm mixed with a cat fight, but here we are. Your taste in music is like a TikTok comment section… confusing, chaotic, and kind of a low point in human creativity. I thought Spotify was for music, not for a vivid exploration into what happens in a teenager’s bedroom when they leave a YouTube playlist on overnight. Let’s talk about your top artists: Quadeca? Really? You’ve put “MONDAY” and “AT A TIME LIKE THIS” on repeat so many times, I’m starting to think they’re the soundtrack to your life’s big existential crisis. I get it, we’re all trying to navigate the mess of modern relationships, but maybe try some music that doesn’t sound like it was produced by a group of raccoons with a garage full of synthesizers? Kudos for including Kendrick, though—his genius is truly wasted when paired with the likes of *Majoraeclipse* and *kurtains*. Are those the names of your favorite artists or the wizards from that nerdy Dungeons & Dragons campaign you keep dropping hints about? And speaking of your most played songs, it's almost commendable how one-dimensional your playlist is. "i think love shouldn't be this convoluted"? Seriously, Christian, have you considered that maybe it’s not your love life that's complicated—it's your taste in music. Your top tracks sound like they’re all competing for the title of “Most Likely to Make You Question Your Life Choices.” Here's a pro tip: diversity in your Spotify library is key. Hence, the Lo-Fi Beats category is a critical necessity, lest we be thrust deeper into your tortured artistry. So let’s expand those horizons a bit or accept that you’ll just be known as the guy who cries into his kombucha every “Tax Day.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!