Roasted 4 months ago based on bryn 🦄🦄's long term Spotify stats.

Bryn, looking at your Spotify profile is like walking into a Hot Topic that hasn't seen a cash register in a decade. Emo, pop punk, and nu metal? You're the living embodiment of a middle school phase that somehow managed to never graduate. Everyone else moved on to nuanced musical taste, while you're still jamming out to the melodrama of your teenage angst like it's the soundtrack to your never-ending school detention. If the emotional rollercoaster ride of your life sounds anything like your playlist, I can only assume it's a constant mix of "why doesn't anybody understand me?" followed by "let's scream into the void." Your top artists list looks like a Warped Tour lineup from 2010, mixed with a side of country music that feels as out of place as a fish at a barbecue. Taylor Swift to Morgan Wallen? It's like you’re trying to show everyone just how diverse your taste is, but it's really just an eloquent way of saying you have commitment issues. One minute you're cutting your wrists with lyrics, and the next, you're out here tapping your cowboy boots. You should probably add "emotional whiplash" to your favorite genres; it sounds like your life could use a healthy dose of therapy instead of cranking up "Screamo" for your mood. And what’s the deal with your most played songs? I didn’t know a person could be that in love with one band while still pretending to enjoy variety. Between the three songs on repeat by Pierce The Veil and the emo thought-vomits from Mitski, your playlist is like a sad romance novel no one asked for. "A Match Into Water"? More like “A Match Into a Sinkhole of Bad Decisions.” Bryn, if balance were an Olympic sport, you’d be the guy who shows up only to hold the weight on the other side. Get it together and diversify; your Spotify deserves more than just "crying in the shower" anthems and country songs that are slower than your dating prospects.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!