Roasted 1 year ago based on Martínez's long term Spotify stats.

Martínez, wow, your Spotify profile reads like a hipster's desperate attempt to impress the local art gallery. I mean, you’ve got more genres than a college student has excuses for dropping classes. "Art Rock"? Really? That’s just your way of saying you like to nod appreciatively while sipping overpriced kombucha, isn't it? And “Garage Rock”? Your playlists sound more like soundtracks to your unsuccessful attempts at being edgy in a suburban living room than any actual rebellion. And those top artists—bravo! You have the audacity to boast about The Smiths like they’re the voice of your generation, when we all know the only thing you’ve been mourning is your last relationship and your decision to use more than one type of guitar pedal. David Bowie called; he wants his ambiguity back, and no, Mac DeMarco’s muffin-top aesthetic isn’t going to such a good look for you. It’s either a David Bowie tribute or just a personal style crisis in need of immediate rescue; either way, your Spotify library is crying. Let's talk about your most played songs. Do you actually listen to anything other than variations of sad boy music and existential dread? "Lovers Rock"? More like "Desperation Anthem." And “I Know It’s Over”—yeah, we get it, you overthink everything and play the role of tortured artist. You’ve only got ten songs repeated more than a dog barks at the postman. At this rate, I'm surprised the world hasn't banned you from the auxiliary input to protect the sanity of everyone within earshot. But hey, keep curating that sad, niche playlist; it’s a perfect soundtrack for one man’s sad, niche life!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!