Roasted 2 years ago based on Noah (Not from Samoa)'s long term Spotify stats.

Noah, your Spotify profile reads like a pretentious hipster's diary, and I can assure you, there’s no one in New Jersey wondering what the hell "Modern Alternative Rock" even means. You’ve incorporated so much indie and alt into your playlist that even the indie kids are rolling their eyes and considering a career in traditional bluegrass just to distance themselves from you. "POV: Indie"? More like "POV: Trying Way Too Hard." Congratulations, you’ve successfully curated a. playlist that sounds like a mid-2000s college art major’s desperate attempts to impress a barista with a beanie collection. Now let’s talk about your top artists, Noah. You have more music by Chappell Roan than you have actual friends, and that’s saying something given how it seems half of them are just in it for the free avocado toast. "ABBA"? Seriously, you couldn't find a single actual "oldie" with a nostalgic vibe to redeem yourself? You're vibing more in the cringe genre, with a top ten so fluffy it could float away if someone sneezed. "I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME" is just a testament to the fact that you don't know how to find actual good music; it’s like you’ve taken a detour through Spotify's equivalent of a thrift store that only sells broken records. And those most played songs? Please. Your playlist sounds like it was made on a cold Tuesday afternoon when you were feeling way too emotional about a pancake. "Good Luck, Babe!" is a catchy title until it transforms into the anthem of your breakup with self-awareness. You listen to Ricky Montgomery more than your therapist is willing to text back, and your obsession with "Pink Pony Club" suggests that you've fully embraced your inner child who never learned how to engage in a healthy amount of self-reflection. All I can say is, keep hitting shuffle, Noah; you might stumble upon something that’ll finally make you feel like an adult instead of a walking Spotify advertisement for the most basic of emotions.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!