Roasted 4 months ago based on ryne's long term Spotify stats.

Ryne, looking at your Spotify profile is like going through a high school emo diary—plenty of melodrama and inexplicable crushes but somehow still no one shows up to your band’s gig. Your favorite genres read like a sad music festival lineup that only the angriest of middle schoolers could love. "Nu Metal," "Rap Metal," "Emo"—are you trying to relive your angst-ridden teenage years or just proving that your emotional maturity is still stuck in 2004? We've got enough dudes screaming into microphones already; thanks for contributing to the chaos, but can we please get some variety here? Your top artists scream, “I’m too cool for mainstream, but I secretly jam out to Taylor Swift”—not that there’s anything wrong with T-Swift, but she doesn’t really mesh with your faux-punk aesthetic. I mean, Arctic Monkeys and Paramore? A little predictable, don’t you think? Just when we think you might be edgy, you pull out "Clairo" and "Laufey," proving you’d rather cry in your room over soft beats rather than learn how to play an actual guitar. Here’s a hot tip: trying to be different with a list of the same twenty sadboi staples isn’t very rebellious; it’s just a sign you need to explore Spotify’s "Discovery" playlist more. And then there's your most played songs, apparently a therapy playlist for someone who is a connoisseur of heartbreak but never learned how to get past the first level in emotional maturity. "Bakit Hindi Ka Crush Ng Crush Mo"? If only that were true for your music taste! If your Spotify wrapped isn't just a parade of sad, lonely love songs, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t count as a valid year. You practically scream “forever alone” while trying to convince everyone you're just deep and misunderstood. But hey, at least you can always rely on your Spotify collections to reflect the rich inner turmoil that no therapist has been able to solve yet. Keep rocking those air guitar solos, my friend!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!