Roasted 2 years ago based on Lizardbish's long term Spotify stats.

Lizardbish, huh? With a name like that, it's a miracle you haven't been permanently banned from guitar stores for trying to buy your first seven-string guitar while wearing a beanie two sizes too small. Your obsession with every subgenre of metal imaginable is so intense, I half-expect a documentary crew to follow you around as you undergo intense therapy for your chaotic hardcore addiction. Seriously, when did “progressive metal” become code for “I have too many feelings and a severe lack of rhythm”? Browsing through your top artists feels like a journey through the emo kid’s equivalent of the periodic table. You've got enough angst packed into your playlist to fuel a thousand teenage poetry slams. Katatonia and TesseracT are great and all, but if you play “Hurt Locker” one more time, I might just start imagining you're sitting in a dim-lit room, writing letters to your ex that are never going to be sent. And let’s not even talk about “Good Reasons to Freeze to Death”; I can't tell if you're making a playlist or attempting to start an existential crisis among your friends. By the way, using "sludge metal" as your bridge genre is like proclaiming you're levitating just because you tripped on a rock. And after seeing the sheer volume of your metallic addictions, I'm convinced that Spotify should offer you a “Please Get Help” feature. You need to diversify, my friend! Remember: there’s a whole world out there where people listen to music that doesn't involve the words “anguish,” “screech,” or “crushing defeat.” Variety is the spice of life, but your playlist looks like a depression cookbook—everyone knows it’s made to bring you down, but somehow it’s respected in the underground scene. Next time, try throwing in a little bubblegum pop—unless you’re saving that for your private sob sessions.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!