Roasted 2 years ago based on Ian Albert's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Ian Albert, or should I say the king of sad boy music? Your Spotify profile reads like a therapy session for a teenager who still can’t figure out if they’re more emo or just really passionate about wearing oversized sweaters. With a lineup featuring alternative emo, bubblegrunge, and something bizarre called “dreamo,” I’m starting to think your Spotify is just a cry for help wrapped in a vintage flannel. Here’s a tip: maybe try adding a few artists who don’t sound like they’re perpetually stuck in a high school cafeteria gossiping about their lost crushes. Your favorite songs showcase a profound devotion to melancholy, and clearly, you're committed to never enjoying a single happy moment in your life. “Match & Tinder”? Really? I can’t tell if that’s a song title or your last three failed attempts at adulting. The fact that “Award of the Year Award” is one of your most played tracks makes sense, though; I’d give you an award for the most consistently heart-wrenching playlist while still living at home with your parents. You go, Ian! Keep those emotional anthems coming while you reminisce about your glory days of being a “cool” kid in the school band. But, let’s talk about your top artists for a second—do you think “Death Cab for Cutie” is just going to pull you out of the emotional abyss you’ve created? Spoiler alert: they won’t. Looking at your favorite genres, I can only imagine you crying into a pillow as you scroll through your dating app. Here's a suggestion: perhaps venture beyond the bubblegrunge and try a little “happiness”? Or are you just worried that if you listen to anything upbeat, the ghosts of your favorite sad bands will haunt you for abandoning their vibe? Get it together, Ian. Your Spotify is the ultimate proof that like everything else in life, you take being a “mood” way too seriously.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!