Roasted 6 months ago based on connor_greely's long term Spotify stats.

Connor Greely, your Spotify profile reads like the last 10 years of a depressed hipster’s diary entries, featuring enough shoegaze to drown out any chance of a conversation at a party. Seriously, “slowcore”? So, you enjoy music that takes its sweet time, just like you take your sweet time to turn off Netflix and get out of bed. Honestly, if your favorite genres had a personality, they'd be that one friend who’s perpetually diffusing essential oils while reading a poetry book about melancholic mushrooms — you know, the kind of folk who look at clouds and see their entire life’s failings reflected back at them. Your top artists are a chaotic mix of brooding, introspective, and borderline existential crises. “Playboi Carti” and “my bloody valentine” on the same list? It’s as if someone asked you to create a soundtrack for a middle school emo kid who's suddenly found himself in a trap house. We get it, you want to experience every possible emotional spectrum, from giddily bouncing to crushingly sad — but come on, quit pretending that musically tossing in “math rock” and “noise rock” is going to add depth to an existential crisis you can’t even figure out how to articulate. As for your most played songs, can someone please send help? “Beautiful World” and “A Quick One Before the Eternal Worm Devours Connecticut” in the same breath? That's not just a playlist; it’s a cry for help wrapped in layers of wavy vocals and dream-like sentiments. The only thing more labored than your favorite music is the way you try to convince everyone that your love for “experimental hip hop” isn’t just a cover for not being able to handle mainstream rap. Don’t worry, buddy, we see through the fog of Parannoul. Your headphones might be high-end, but your music taste is still stuck in the basement with the light off and a bunch of old pizza boxes.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!