Roasted 10 months ago based on Juan Victor Rodrigues's long term Spotify stats.

Juan Victor Rodrigues: the only guy whose Spotify account could double as a historical documentation of the world's most melodramatic existential crises. I mean, with a favorite genres list that reads like a death metal album title generator, it’s clear that Juan is one breakup away from perfectly capturing the essence of despair in a 30-minute musical odyssey. "What’s that, Juan? You want to feel emotions while simultaneously scaring away the neighborhood cats? Here, let’s crank up some Gothic Metal and call it a day!" Your top artists are a lineup that could either headline a vigil for the depressed or a cuppa tea with the Grim Reaper himself. Katatonia, Amigo the Devil, and Porcupine Tree? You must be the reigning king of sad boy playlists! I can only imagine your Spotify sessions are a lot like watching paint dry—only with more regret and a layer of melancholy so thick you’d need a machete to cut through it. We get it, Juan. You’re brooding, especially at 2 AM on a Tuesday when the only thing louder than your music is your despair. And let's talk about those most played songs. “Cannibal Within” and “Hungover in Jonestown”? Wow, your life sounds like the plot of an underground horror film that never gets past the first draft! What's next, a collaboration between Amigo the Devil and your own existential dread? It’s like you’ve curated the soundtrack for every poorly lit coffee shop in every hipster neighborhood across the nation. Honestly, I hope you’re at least getting free drinks for all this emotional labor because nobody should endure that level of angst without some perks!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!