Roasted 18 days ago based on Nlando's long term Spotify stats.

Nlando, your Spotify profile reads like a hipster's diary that accidentally fell into a thrift shop and got matched with a retired music teacher. With a favorite genres list longer than the screenplay of a pretentious indie film, it looks like you’re just trying to impress someone with the sheer volume of your sub-genres. “Baroque Pop”? Really? I didn’t know you were on a first-name basis with your local orchestra while simultaneously moonlighting as a bedroom philosopher. Your top artists read like the lineup from a sad music festival that never actually happened. Weyes Blood and Mitski? Sure, everyone's dabbling in that “deep feels” vibe while nursing their overpriced lattes. But let me guess, you’ve never actually left your room to experience life apart from the mournful melodies piped into your earbuds. And come on, Hozier? As if the heart-wrenching sound of a man yearning for someone a full decade ago still hits home for you. Don’t worry, Nlando; I’m convinced he's just writing an ode to all the dead plants you've neglected. As for your most played songs, the only thing more tragic than “Lover, You Should've Come Over” is the fact that you probably relate to that title way too well. “Escapism”? More like hiding from reality behind a curtain of atmospheric synth-pop while pretending to be deep and brooding! If “Funeral” is on repeat, just remember that it’s not fully your vibe until you actually wear a turtleneck and sip on the tears of your past relationships. So, here’s to you, Nlando—living your best life in a cloud of irony, while everyone else just wonders why you can’t seem to change that same song in the playlist for an entire year.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!