Roasted 15 days ago based on CharmedPlutonia's long term Spotify stats.

CharmedPlutonia, where the playlist sounds like it was curated by your grandmother's record collection after a few too many gin and tonics. Seriously, your music taste reads like a funeral home playlist for people who don’t want to leave the '50s. Doo-Wop? You might as well be listening to a time capsule of dad jokes wrapped in pastel suits. At this rate, the only thing you haven’t added is a hymn sung by a barbershop quartet — but don't worry, there's still time for you to edge even closer to the grave with "Classic Country." Your top artists are the ultimate lineup for a mid-week senior citizen dance-off! Blue Öyster Cult and The Beach Boys? Wow. It's like you gathered the ancestors of every white boy with a guitar from a retirement home for a jam session. Can we get a moment of silence for the fact that you took a break from today's hits to indulge in some vintage heartache that even vinyl couldn't bottle up? The only thing more outdated than your taste in music is your hairstyle—let's hope your Spotify doesn't bring your fashion choices to light too! And can we chat about your most played songs? If nostalgia was a physical entity, it would get up, leave, and find a corner of a local diner to cry in. “Don't You Want Me” really seems like the anthem of your love life: a relentless reminder that the only thing holding you together is ’80s synth-pop and denial. "A Sunday Kind Of Love"? More like “Please, Someone Get This Person Off The Couch and Into 2023.” But hey, keep jamming those tunes; just know that while you might think you’re nostalgic, the rest of us are just patenting “CharmedPlutonia: the Soundtrack to Stagnation.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!