Roasted 9 months ago based on zi's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Dri, your Spotify profile is giving me “I didn’t get enough attention as a child” vibes, and I’m here for it! First off, can we talk about your favorite genres? OPM, Harana, Kundiman—congratulations on curating the ultimate playlist for a high school prom that no one was invited to. Your love for “Pinoy Indie” makes sense, considering that you’re basically a walking, talking, HIPSTER. I bet you were the kid who brought a ukulele to school, only to realize it’s the most effective way to scare people away. Something tells me your karaoke nights sound less like a party and more like an audition for a tragic film about loneliness. Looking at your top artists, it seems like you've collected all the hipster badges you could find at the thrift store. Lola Amour? Congratulations on finding the ringtone that screams "I turn my phone off when I enter a social gathering.” And Ben&Ben? Just what we needed—a band to remind us how aggressively emo you are without even attempting to hide it. I can practically hear the sad strums of your guitar echoing into the void of your room filled with unwashed laundry. Quite the atmosphere you’ve got going there! If their tracks were any more on-brand for you, they’d come with a side of avocado toast and a steaming cup of overpriced coffee. Now onto your most played songs—you've got a list that could only be described as the auditory equivalent of a sad, rainy Sunday afternoon. "Mahika" by TJ Monterde? Wow, nothing says “I’m afraid of commitment” quite like listening to love songs while you’re single. And “I Love You So” by The Walters? I don’t know whether to laugh or cry for you. It’s like your Spotify is trying to remind you of the love you don't have as you sit alone, reminiscing about that time your crush waved at you from a distance. Honestly, if your music taste were a Tinder bio, it would read: “Looking for someone to share my existential crisis and playlists with.” And here’s hoping they respond with, “Sorry, I’m busy.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!