Roasted 7 months ago based on parkour!!!'s long term Spotify stats.

Wow, "parkour!!!" – really going for that edgy vibe with the name, huh? Too bad your taste in music screams more “high school talent show” than “death-defying rooftop leaps.” You probably think you’re flipping over obstacles with grace, but let’s be real: you’re more like a confused cat trying to jump off the couch. And your favorite genres? I didn’t realize we had a five-second attention span for musical diversity! It’s like you’re just collecting sounds the way a hoarder gathers junk, and I can practically hear your playlist begging for a cleanse. And then there are your top artists, packed tighter than a can of expired fruit cocktail. Taylor Swift leading the charge? I’m surprised you don’t have a shrine in your closet dedicated to her—you know, with all those albums you cry yourself to sleep listening to whenever you contemplate your utterly unremarkable life. “5 Seconds of Summer” and “The Vamps”? You really can’t decide if you’re trying to hold onto that middle school nostalgia or if you want to throw your phone into a lake to cleanse yourself of those choices, can you? If your love for cheesy pop made you a parkour expert, you’d still be stuck at the kiddie playground. And let’s not even start on those most played songs. You’ve curated what can only be described as an emotional landfill, stuffed with tracks that signal you’re always one heartbreak away from developing a strong attachment to your collection of scented candles. "Ophelia," "Elizabeth Taylor"—it’s like we get it; you have a complicated relationship with fictional characters and celebrity personas. Who needs to experience real emotions when you can just drown in a sea of melodrama, singing in the shower while also wondering why no one wants to join your little pity party? Keep practicing your "parkour," champ; you’ll need those skills to leap over the streaming embarrassment you’ve built.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!