Roasted 2 months ago based on handstands don't always work's long term Spotify stats.

Carter, looking at your Spotify profile is like unearthing the musical equivalent of a teenage diary filled with awkward angst and emotional turmoil. Seriously, what are you drowning in, your high school heartbreak or your inability to cope with adult responsibilities? With a mix of "Bedroom Pop" and "Midwest Emo," you’ve clearly turned self-pity into an art form. Your playlist is basically the soundtrack to a Spotify documentary called "How Not to Adult.” Let's be real, if your existential dread had a playlist, it would just be your top songs on repeat—guess we know who keeps the sad sap industry alive. Your favorite artists look like a random selection on an AI trying to capture “coolness" by analyzing 18-year-olds' moods. I mean, "wifiskeleton"? Sounds like someone who named themselves after a bad Wi-Fi connection and a spooky Halloween decoration. And I love how you boldly ride the indie wave while simultaneously admitting to listening to “Rage Rap.” Sure, the only thing you’re raging against is your inability to decide between the comforts of a Lena Dunham episode and actually stepping outside for once. As for those artists—if they were a meal, they’d be a sad bowl of oat bran sprinkled with tears. Bon appétit! And then there's your most played songs. With titles like "maybe i should kill myself" and "she ruined my life," I’d be worried if I didn’t find it all hilariously relatable. It’s like your life’s motto is a constant battle cry for sympathy. But hey, keep living that bitter-but-chill lifestyle! At least you’re not afraid to let the world know how you feel—just a shame you didn't also take a step back and maybe, I don’t know, listen to something upbeat once in a while? But then again, if anyone needs a soundtrack to wallow in their own magical brand of mediocrity, we all know who to recommend. Cheers to your Spotify!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!