Roasted 5 months ago based on Max's long term Spotify stats.

Max, your Spotify profile reads like the world's least appealing buffet. With a genre list so long it makes War and Peace look like a pamphlet, I half-expect to find "Cabbage Core" and "Sad Whale Songs" on there too. Seriously, who even needs nine different sub-genres of rock? You’ve got more categories than you've got friends to share this auditory identity crisis with. Let’s face it: your playlists are basically what happens when a midlife crisis happens in a record store. And don’t get me started on your top artists. The Kid LAROI and Dominic Fike? What is this, a high school dance gone terribly wrong? You’ve mixed more mainstream pop with indie jigsaw pieces than anyone without a personal vendetta against music should be allowed to do. It’s like you’re trying to win a personality contest between your headphones and a fridge magnet. Remember: Radiohead is only cool if you can actually name a song written after the year 2000, my dude. Your Most Played list comes out swinging with Nothing But Thieves—talk about a one-stop shop for conformity. You know they make music other than “Itch,” right? Because it feels like you’re a participant in some sort of obsessive fandom, basically like a bad relationship airlifted right out of a teenager’s angsty diary. With that many plays of the same band, are you planning to dedicate your life to their music, or just living out a real-life musical Groundhog Day? Either way, good luck explaining your choice in tunes on your next Tinder date—it's going to be a rough ride!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!