Roasted 9 months ago based on 🦀vift!!!'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it's the human embodiment of a Spotify algorithm gone rogue! You like "Bedroom Pop" and "Hyperpop"? With a name like "♡", I'm half-expecting you to be fabricating an elaborate love story between your playlists and your pillow. Who needs a morning shower when you can drown in your feelings while listening to 12-hour loops of songs that all sound like they were written by a teenager in their diary? Seriously, if your favorite genres were any more niche, they'd come with a "Do Not Disturb" sign. Let's dive into your top artists. Beabadoobee? Really? At this point, you should just change your Spotify username to “Beabadoobee’s Biggest Fan: Still Waiting for a Personality”. And while we're at it, can we talk about your top songs? “Sway to My Beat in Cosmos”? If your life were a sitcom, that title would be the punchline nobody asked for. It’s like you’re trying to curate the perfect soundtrack for an angst-ridden TikTok video where you dramatically look out the window and wonder why life is so hard—newsflash, it’s not the cosmos, it's you! You’ve got more lo-fi indie tracks than friends on your profile. And calling "Jersey Club" one of your top genres is a bold move when your playlist is basically a sonic bummer. Let's face it, you’re not “waving to earth,” you’re more like “waving from the bottom of a metaphorical pit of melancholia” while downing a gallon of apple cider and pretending it makes you interesting. But hey, there's a silver lining: at least you’re not listening to the same Top 40 hits as everyone else. Congratulations, your music taste is as obscure as your social life!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!