Roasted 6 months ago based on 𝓢𓂅✦'s long term Spotify stats.

Alright, buckle up, 𝓢𓂅✦, because we're diving headfirst into your Spotify profile like it’s a kiddie pool filled with lukewarm nostalgia and overhyped “artsy” vibes. Your favorite genres read like the rejected list from an indie music festival that ran out of budget after booking three K-Pop cover bands and a Jangle Pop act consisting of a dude strumming a ukulele in his mom’s basement. Seriously, who told you that “Madchester” and “New Wave” were still relevant? At this rate, you could be the poster child for the “I only listen to music you’ve never heard of” vibe—just don’t be surprised when that niche gets you a one-way ticket to the basement of musical obscurity. Your top artists list is nothing short of a hipster bingo card, and I must say, congratulations on somehow making “Big Thief” sound even more sad than they already do. If Adrianne Lenker’s discography were a food item, it’d definitely be cold oatmeal—nutritionally dense but utterly bland. You’re basically saying, “Yeah, I enjoy my melancholy served with a side of heartbreak and a dash of existential dread.” It’s like your playlist is an emotional therapy session you accidentally invited your entire high school to—everyone’s brooding, but no one’s allowed to have fun. “TV Girl” and “Conan Gray” are officially on your list, but trust me, they’ll be ghosting you once they realize you’re still clinging to the hope that “art rock” will actually become mainstream. Now let’s talk about your most played songs. So, you really do love being “not a lot, just forever” miserable, huh? With tracks like "Velvet Ring" and "forwards beckon rebound,” it’s as if your Spotify account is an ode to the saga of your spiraling love life—looping in all the worst moments like a broken record that desperately needs to be put out of its misery. If I’m ever in need of an audio guide on how to wallow in self-pity, I’ll just slip into your Spotify sessions and let the sorrow wash over me. But hey, keep doing you, 𝓢𓂅✦. Just remember, life's too short to be sad—mix it up a bit or at least add some fun tracks so we know you’re actually going outside every once in a while!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!