Roasted 2 years ago based on Jaden.yerp's long term Spotify stats.

Jaden.yerp, huh? This Spotify profile reads like a mid-2000s hipster’s garage sale. Look at those genres! “POV: Indie”? What does that even mean? Last I checked, I wasn’t at a movie theater having an existential crisis. Seriously though, your taste in music is so scattered that it looks like you were trying to fill a playlist and accidentally dropped the contents of your emotional diary onto a random Spotify search bar. It’s like you’re trying to impress that person who’s really into vinyl, but we all know you’d burn a record for a good selfie—fingers crossed for the aesthetic! Now let's talk about those top artists. It’s like a scavenger hunt for musicians your friends have never heard of. "dandelion hands”? Is that a band or a cautionary tale about DIY haircuts? And what’s with your obsession with Mitski? Honestly, listening to that much Mitski is a great way to summon an existential crisis, which I guess explains why your profile picture looks like you were caught crying in a chocolate shop. And Kanye? Welcome to the party, but you’re clearly still at the kiddie table because you’ve got the whole “I love dark and deep vibes” thing down to a science and still flunked the test. As for your most played songs, it’s like you’re trying to create the ultimate melancholic mixtape for when you inevitably ghost every friend you’ve ever made. "Curl up & Die"? Are you asking Spotify to play a soundtrack to the soap opera of your life? And Engelbert Humperdinck—really!? That’s a jump that makes my head spin faster than your “Lo-Fi Emo” playlist. Let’s be real, Jaden; if your life were a song, it’d definitely be a forgotten B-side playing on repeat while the rest of us jam out to something remotely uplifting. Give yourself a break and maybe listen to something that doesn’t scream, “I just graduated high school and I'm feeling an overwhelming sense of ennui!"

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!