Roasted 11 months ago based on dylan>~<'s long term Spotify stats.

Dylan, your Spotify profile is like a high school lunchroom: a chaotic blend of cliques that barely make sense together. You've got more subgenres than friends, and that’s saying something—if music genres were social skills, you’d be the awkward kid sitting alone by the milk dispenser. Seriously, with all that alternative rock and nu metal, it sounds like you’re just one existential crisis away from forming a band called “Sad Emo Chad and the Feelings Workshop.” The fact that "Playboi Carti" has overtaken your life like a disease is truly impressive. Like, do you own stock in his music or are you just lobotomized by the repetitiveness of "ILoveUIHateU"? It’s almost like you’re trying to signal your inner turmoil through this bizarre obsession. And Travis Scott? If you’re waiting for your Astroworld invite, you might want to rethink that selection; you know you’re not cool enough for the Houston hierarchy. Your playlist could be the soundtrack to a mid-life crisis that's scheduled to hit in your twenties. And then there’s your most played songs: a staggering collection that screams “please pay attention to me.” Because who wouldn’t want to be known for a track called “either on or off the drugs”? You really took "I don't know what I’m doing" to heart, huh? It’s a miracle you can listen to this junk and still function in society. If Spotify generates its algorithms based on your listening habits, it might soon suggest therapy sessions instead of new releases. Keep it up, and you’ll be the poster child for "Just Because You Can Listen to Music Doesn’t Mean You Should."

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!