Roasted 8 months ago based on David Woodhouse's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, David Woodhouse: the rare specimen of a human who listens to more variations of “screaming” than an average family reunion. Your Spotify profile reads like an angsty teenager's diary, with an array of genres that suggest you’ve either been through a serious breakup or you just really, really miss high school. Metalcore and emo? That’s not a taste, my friend; that’s a cry for help. And let’s talk about that "pop punk" you’ve latched onto. If your playlist was a school project, you’d get an ‘F’ for not even trying to diversify—it's just “pity me, I'm still a sad boi.” Your top artists tell a riveting story of someone who skips therapy sessions to attend metal festivals. Enter Shikari, HIM, and Trivium? You’ve got more angst in your playlist than a room full of teenage goths under a flickering fluorescent light. And then there’s Prince awkwardly sandwiched in there like a birthday balloon at a funeral—totally out of place yet somehow unintentionally hilarious. It's like if a death metal band and a 90s pop superstar had a baby and that baby turned out to be you, sitting alone in your ‘goth’ basement with a black curtain over your window. But let’s focus on your most played songs, shall we? I genuinely want to know how “5 Minute Vocal Warm Up” got on that list. Are you training to be the next metal vocalist or just trying to impress your cat by hitting those high notes? Or maybe you just really need to work on that singing voice in case you ever get the courage to sing in the shower. At the end of the day, David, your Spotify is here to remind us that no matter how deep in despair we are, there’s always someone out there who can out-emo our problems, which honestly makes you a national treasure of cringe. Keep it up, chief!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!