Roasted 2 months ago based on wren w's long term Spotify stats.

Wren W, your Spotify profile looks like a social experiment gone wrong—surviving on a diet of folk and indie rock that’s more predictable than a 90's sitcom plot twist. You’ve hoarded every relaxed acoustic song like a raccoon with a penchant for the obscure. Honestly, it’s like you’re trying to be the human equivalent of a cozy coffee shop: cute, artsy, but ultimately a little too hipster for your own good. Baroque pop? Really? Did the 18th century just drop a mixtape on you? Your top artists reading like a high school yearbook where everyone was voted “Most Likely to Pamper Rainbows” is a bold move, Wren. Sure, Taylor Swift and Florence + The Machine are practically the mom and dad of your playlist, but your other choices scream “I have strong opinions on artisanal avocado toast.” You’ve got the kind of taste that makes you want to wear a knitted sweater and spout existential quotes while sipping herbal tea. Congratulations, you have fully embraced the “I shop at thrift stores for my vintage vinyl” stereotype. And let’s talk about those most played songs, shall we? With titles that sound like they were crafted in a poetry class for emotionally unstable twenty-somethings, it’s like your playlist is begging for a therapist. “Dog Days Are Over”? More like “Wren’s Life Is Over”—you clearly can’t decide if you’re feeling upbeat or existentially doom-surfing. Your musical journey sounds like a quest for the ultimate sad boy anthems, which maybe explains your obsession with artists whose names are either bands or sound like European art movements. Keep doing you, but don't be surprised when the rest of us start calling you “Wren Woe.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!