Roasted 7 months ago based on Diogo Rivers's long term Spotify stats.

Diogo Rivers, the self-proclaimed connoisseur of all things heavy and metal, if your Spotify profile were a band, it would be a one-hit wonder playing exclusively at a funeral pyre. Seriously, with a lineup of genres that sounds like the world's worst chemistry experiment gone horribly wrong, I'm surprised you haven't been banned from playing music in public. You're not just a fan of sludge metal; you're one broken eighth-string guitar away from starting a band called "The Immovable Objects." I get it, you like riffs so heavy they practically need a forklift – maybe it's time to consider something a little lighter, like, I don't know, the sound of a breeze? Your top artists read like a list of therapy candidates desperately clinging to their angst. With Kendrick Lamar sandwiched between "Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs" (which sounds like a rapper's alternative side project gone existential) and "Enter Shikari," it’s a miracle you’ve managed to hold on to half your sanity. You've got enough chaos in your playlists to fuel a mid-2000s emo revival; it’s a wonder the algorithms haven’t sent a wellness check. Let’s face it, Diogo, even that one Anna von Hausswolff song feels like a cry for help—only it’s echoing through the endless void of your muddy soundscapes. And then there’s your most played songs, a bouquet of sonic depression that could single-handedly take down a small town. You’ve literally got more Enter Shikari tracks than podcast episodes about tax evasion – just how deep into the brooding abyss are you willing to go? However, I can’t help but admire your commitment to angst; it’s almost as if you’re trying to embody every high school kid who ever felt misunderstood while scribbling “existential dread” in their spiral notebook. So, here’s a suggestion: maybe throw in some disco or pop once in a while, or you might end up having a full-on emo breakdown in your car someday. But hey, if that's your vibe, keep thumping along—just try to remember what sunlight feels like!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!