Roasted 2 months ago based on NCLB - DNR's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, NCLB - DNR, I see you've chosen a Spotify profile that screams "I tried really hard to be unique, but I'm still just a basic emo kid with a Spotify premium." Seriously, with a mix of genres like "Midwest Emo" and "Math Rock," it’s like your music taste is an ironic performance art piece—it’s both pretentious and painfully average. You’ve got more obscure bands on your list than friends in real life, and I’m starting to think you’ve been personally victimized by a breakup more times than your Spotify Wrapped will admit. Looking at your top artists, Matt Maltese and Noah Kahan clearly took it upon themselves to provide the soundtrack for every overdramatic high school montage you call a life. And I can’t help but wonder if "The Flat Stanleys" is actually the name of your social life because, like a pop-up window ad, it seems to be offering us nothing but disappointment. Your "Most Played Songs" list reads like a compilation of Background Music in a movie where the protagonist realizes their life is a constant loop of cringe and questionable decisions. "House Fire"? Yeah, sounds about right—burning down your potential with the choices you make based on lyrics you’ll never fully understand. But hey, don’t beat yourself up too much, because at least your taste in music is consistent...ly awful! Who needs to explore mainstream hits when you can dance to the sweet sound of your unachievable existential dread? At this point, you should change your name to NCLB - Does Not Relate because, honestly, nobody can relate to how deep and poetically tragic you think your playlist is. But chin up! If all else fails, at least you've mastered the fine art of curating a Spotify profile that feels like a moody Instagram feed—a perfect blend of angst and desperation that only your ex and their new partner would appreciate.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!