Roasted 2 years ago based on Lauren Banner's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Lauren, your Spotify profile is like a teenager's diary—full of angst, questionable taste, and a surprising amount of Käärijä. Your love for a "trance" and "industrial metal" should send any potential suitor running for the hills, not to mention the fact that your favorite genre list reads like a 14-year-old's fashion choices—constantly shifting between extreme moods and styles. I mean, is this a music taste or a personality test for people who can’t decide if they’re going through a mid-life crisis or just attempting to redefine goth? And let’s talk about your top artists. Congrats on assembling a playlist that screams, "Take me back to the early 2000s when my biggest concern was whether my eyeliner was smudged." Alkaline Trio and Fall Out Boy were great, back when flip phones were still a thing. These days, even they’re starting to show their age, much like your unshakeable obsession with post-grunge that feels heavier than my grandma’s old vinyl collection. If there were a Trophy for Most Likely to Overanalyze Every Relationship Through a Music Video, I’d proudly hand it to you, complete with a glittery accessory from Hot Topic. As for those most played songs… sweetie, you’ve officially bypassed the term “guilty pleasure” and entered “please take my Spotify account away from me” territory. "Help Me" feels apt, as it seems like you’re crying out for assistance from anyone who might help you find a therapist instead of more vibrating beats to drown out your existential dread. Let's face it; with a playlist this melodramatic, you could soundtrack a soap opera about love lost in the industrial goth district. So here’s to you, Lauren—may you never outgrow this musical cringe fest we all pretend to have moved on from!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!