Roasted 2 years ago based on Jessica's long term Spotify stats.

Jessica, I have to hand it to you: your musical taste is like a buffet of secondhand emotions and questionable decisions. I mean, "German Pop" and "Kleine Hörspiel"? Are you curating the soundtrack for a heartwarming German soap opera or just trying to plunge into an existential crisis? Your playlist looks like it was put together by a confused toddler who stumbled upon a music streaming service after a sugar high. And let's not even talk about that "German Hyperpop." Only you could take hyperactivity and turn it into a genre—bravo! Your top artists are a wonderland of confusion. Stray Kids, SDP, and Alvin und die Chipmunks? That’s a combination of angst, absurdity, and a quarter-life crisis all wrapped up in a cute little package. It’s almost as if you’ve been collecting artists like Pokémon, but instead of needing a Pokéball, you just use a sad Spotify playlist. I can totally picture you busting out some K-Pop dance moves right next to a German metalcore mosh pit. Bring your earplugs, because that’s the only way this auditory assault is going to make any sense! And those most played songs—my goodness! "LALALALA" and "Wir ticken nicht ganz sauber"? At this point, your Spotify is less of a music account and more of a personal carnival of chaotic emotions. With titles like "Blumen auf mein Grab," it's as if you've categorized your emotional states into a tragic German rom-com. The only thing missing from your playlist is a song called "Help, I Have No Idea What I'm Doing with My Life." But hey, at least your eclectic choice in music is a great conversation starter—like, "Why are you like this?"

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!