Roasted 6 months ago based on Alyssacroson's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Alyssacroson, where musical taste meets absolute indecision. You must have spent a solid afternoon combing through Spotify’s fine print, finding every genre with “pop” or “soul” in the name because who doesn’t crave a little confusion in their identity? Seriously, how are you listing Dark R&B and Country in the same breath? That’s like describing a love affair between a lonely cowboy and a nighttime apocalypse—what’s next, Viking metal meets smooth jazz? Your genre choices read like a bad Tinder bio that ultimately ends in “just looking for something casual.” And let’s talk about your top artists, shall we? It’s like you wandered into a hipster coffee shop, inhaled deep, and declared, “I’ll take everyone except someone who can actually make me smile!” Drake and country in the same playlist? Is your life soundtrack designed to baffle psychologists? It’s kind of impressive how you assembled this ensemble of artists who all seem to sing about the same two topics: sad love and deep emotional trauma. If your Spotify profile were a person, I’d advise it to get therapy instead of listening to the same emotional breakdown on repeat. Now, those most played songs—wow, just wow. It’s like your playlist is desperately trying to win an award for “Most Overly Dramatic Sincere Crying Hour.” “Care” by Sonder followed closely by “What You Heard?” Let’s not kid ourselves, Alyssacroson—at this point, you’re practically begging for emotional validation from a streaming service. If your playlist were a person, it’d definitely be that friend who constantly posts inspirational quotes on Instagram while clutching a pint of ice cream. Maybe it’s time to up the game and throw in a little “living my best life” vibe, or is that too revolutionary for your collection of melancholic bops?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!