Roasted 3 months ago based on Ian.Ackermann's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, look at you, Ian Ackermann – the ultimate hipster IKEA catalog come to life! With a Spotify profile that reads like a sad Pinterest board dedicated to flannel shirts and artisanal coffee, it’s shocking that your only physical possession that isn't a vinyl record is a permanent marker for writing "I was here" on the bathroom stalls. You’re basically the poster child for “Please, no more acoustic guitar covers” and it’s a wonder you haven't been spotted performing in a neighborhood park while a group of confused squirrels stand in a semi-circle, wondering why the hell they’re not getting nut offerings in return. Let's talk about your favorite genres, shall we? "Indie," "Folk," "Midwest Emo" – I get it, you’re trying really hard to be misunderstood, but every time you put on a track with "Bedroom Pop" in it, I can’t help but assume you're still hiding under your covers of insecurity. “Southern Gothic”? You must have a flair for the dramatic, just like those emo journals you scribbled in while your mom tried to distract you with ice-cream. And as for "Christmas music" in February, are you just trying to cover every emotional crisis in the calendar year? At this rate, your playlist should come with a trigger warning. And let’s not forget your top artists—they're so niche that even hipsters are rolling their eyes. You have more Mt. Joy in your top songs than actual joy in your life! With artists like "Richy Mitch & The Coal Miners," it’s hard to tell if you’re a music aficionado or just Googling every obscure combo that sounds like a bad bar band from 1975. But hey, at least you've mastered the art of finding songs no one else cares about, which, coincidentally, is excellent training for your impending life as a solo lounge singer in a coffee shop that only serves oat milk lattes and existential dread. Keep it up, Ian—I can’t wait to see you headline the next “Who Gives a Damn” festival!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!