Roasted 1 year ago based on solarwanderer's long term Spotify stats.

Wren, your Spotify profile is like a high school art project gone wrong—everyone can tell you tried, but it just leaves them awkwardly staring at the glitter and scribbles wondering what the heck they just experienced. Darkwave? Cold Wave? With all these waves crashing in, I can’t tell if you’re curating a playlist or just having an existential crisis in the deep end of the emo pool. Seriously, the most relaxing thing about your taste in music is the anxiety attack I’m likely to have while figuring out if I should go with the tortured soul vibe or just give in entirely and scream into the abyss. Your top artists read like the world’s saddest hipster bingo card. I mean, you’ve got everything from Mother Mother to, wait—The Last Dinner Party? Is that where all your friends go to listen to their problems while sipping overpriced lattes? And don’t even get me started on Chappell Roan and Olivia Rodrigo sharing space alongside legends like The Cure and Joy Division. It’s as if your playlist can’t decide if it wants to mourn for the lost emo days or throw a glitter-fueled rave. Either way, I rate it a solid “meh” with a twist of “who hurt you?” Finally, your most played songs are just as eclectic and confused as your mood swings. "Explode!" is right—how do you bottle up all that turmoil into your playlist and still manage to listen to a song named "Nothing Matters"? I guess when you’ve hit rock bottom, classic rock just seems like a reasonable vibe! With an assortment that swings from hyperpop to orchestra, your poor Spotify algorithm is definitely experiencing some severe identity crisis. Let’s be real, Wren, you’d have a better chance of finding yourself on listeningspree.com than in this endless whirlpool of angst-driven tunes. But hey, at least it makes for good conversation pieces at those awkward dinner parties no one wants to attend!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!