Roasted 1 year ago based on Jesús :)'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Jesús, with a profile that screams “I may have a Pinterest board dedicated to crocheting,” it’s no wonder your Spotify is drowning in more melancholic boleros than a dramatic telenovela. Your music taste reads like the back of a taco menu—sure, it’s flavorful and all, but where’s the spice? You’ve got more Latin genres than a mariachi band has outfits, and yet your top artists list feels like a mid-life crisis that forgot to buy a sports car—José José for the nostalgia and Lana Del Rey for those moments you just want to stare out the window wearing a beanie and sipping iced coffee while crying for reasons no one can understand. Let’s talk about your most played songs. “Good Looking” by Suki Waterhouse? Are you trying to manifest something that might just remain a wishful thought? And “Niña Elegante” by La Santa Grifa? I guess we see where your love for elegance peaks—let’s hope it doesn’t come out in your online dating bio. It’s astonishing that “Un Para Siempre” is on here, considering how hard you’re clinging to a playlist that looks like it could belong to a confused high schooler going through their first heartbreak. Congrats, you’ve managed to curate the world's most reliable playlist for crying in the shower. But don't worry, Jesús! That Spotify “About Me” section is just waiting to be as long as your playlist of guilty pleasures. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility—choose wisely before your next song selection sends you spiraling into an existential crisis over your life choices. With your musical tastes, at least you have an excuse to avoid dancing at parties: “Sorry, can’t hear the beat over the sound of my own emotional turmoil.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!