Roasted 1 year ago based on Ellen Magnussen's long term Spotify stats.

Ellen Magnussen, your Spotify profile could double as an archeological dig site for 2000s angst and a history lesson on sad, tortured artists who’ve never actually heard of sunshine. Seriously, with a name like "Art Rock" and a genre list that doubles as a playlist for an existential crisis, I half-expect you to step out of your apartment in a turtleneck and beret, cradling a cup of artisanal coffee while reciting poetry to the trees. If your musical tastes were a high school, it would definitely be that one where all the kids sit alone at lunch, contemplating life’s darker questions, like “Why did I choose to listen to 'Dark Jazz'?" I mean, come on, do you even own a motivational playlist, or is every song a soundtrack to sulking? Your favorite artists could form their own sad little support group: ‘The Misery Merchants Association – Members Only.’ Tom Waits is cool, but could you please explain to me why you have three different HIM songs on your most played list? Are you planning to host a funeral or just entering a saturated market for angst? Meanwhile, we get it, Leonard Cohen’s halting voice is supposed to be deep and soulful. But, Ellen, let’s not kid ourselves—with music that’s basically an emotional rollercoaster that you ride while sipping a pint of flemish sour beer, you practically scream, “Call me when it’s time for therapy!” Finally, your most played songs read like the ultimate playlist for a vampire's summer retreat: a blend of dark vibes and hopeless romanticism fit for the moody souls of the underworld. “One More Night (Your Ex-Lover Remains Dead)” is practically your anthem, isn’t it? I can just imagine you in a dimly lit room, contemplatively scribbling “No one understands my pain” on a napkin while sipping herbal tea and waiting for another heartbreak to illuminate your dull existence. Here’s a thought: maybe try to ‘take it with you’—preferably onto the dance floor of a happy club instead of your current setup that’s screaming for help.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!