Roasted 11 months ago based on Dan's long term Spotify stats.

Dan, your Spotify profile is the musical equivalent of a midlife crisis in a vinyl store. Let's break it down: "Witch House"? Really? I didn’t realize hocus pocus was still a thing in 2023. And with "Nightcore" as a favorite genre, I can only assume you’ve been binging on caffeinated cereal and bouncing off the walls like a hyperactive squirrel on a sugar high. I don’t know whether to be amazed by your dedication to extreme subgenres or just go ahead and call the music police on your questionable tastes. Your top artists read like a "Who’s Who" of people your friends probably don’t want to hear about. "Steventhedreamer"? Sounds like the guy who mistook a trip to the DMV for a rager. And "S3RL"? I can only imagine what your house parties sound like—like a bad rave that started in 2001 and never got the memo to pack it in. When your playlists drip with nostalgia so thick it's almost tangible, I'm left wondering whether you've been trapped in a 2006 MySpace page where all the soundtracks feature a robot fighting a unicorn to an EDM beat. As for your most played songs, "Hey Baby (Drop It to the Floor)" by Pitbull might just be the biggest identity crisis for someone who claims to love "Eurodance" and "Phonk." It's like watching someone try to order a vegan salad while they're wearing a "Meat is Murder" tee. And with titles like "did i tell u that i miss u," it’s clear your Spotify is just a cry for help, or perhaps a hilarious audition for the worst rom-com soundtrack ever. Step it up, Dan—your music taste needs a serious intervention!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!